dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
