felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
