we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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