i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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