My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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