I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
