Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
