don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Randomize
