Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
we made out on top of his cat.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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