TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
