We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
