Porn is love you can see.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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