Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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