my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
