My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
