What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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