i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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