I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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