Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
