I got chris browned last night
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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