wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Can I color on your dick again?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
