If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
