She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
