I just made out with a guy for $7.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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