did you get engaged???
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
