I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
