Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize