Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
