The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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