Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm too high and old for this...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
