READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
