Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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