So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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