just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
