you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
