Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
you made out with another girl for some wings
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