Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize