i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
