He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He told me they were just razor bumps!
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
