Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
