i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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