I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
