I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Can I color on your dick again?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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