I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Panties = found
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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