Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
