is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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