is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Drunk is not a location!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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