What a fucking waste of an outfit
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
