..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
