so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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