went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
she peed on how many people?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
