ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
