sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
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And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
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and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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