I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
