u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
