I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize