so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
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She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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