But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
