hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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