someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i think i have herpe
just one?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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