That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
