so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
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