Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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