I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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