He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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