I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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