it's not cheating when I paid for it
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize